So, the trick with miscarriage is no matter when you lose your baby, you have probably already been having cravings and stopped counting calories, because you just want to eat for fuel and fun and to keep that baby strong. Then the baby is gone and there is no more “excuse,” but there is still hunger and longing to feed what once needed nourishment.
So instead of healthy snacking, it’s time for… COMFORT FOOD. We eat different comfort foods for different times of sorrow, heartbreak, and discouragement.
Comfort Food for my Body
The day I found out my baby’s heart wasn’t beating I wanted Chipotle cilantro-lime white rice and chips. I wanted to eat them in bed with a movie. I didn’t want to see people or make food for them. I wanted rice and chips. I have never eaten rice and chips in bed, nor will I probably ever do it again, but I’ll not soon forget my longing and craving for them. For SOMETHING to fill the void. My sweet husband got me Chipotle rice and chips and ate them with me in bed while watching a movie, leaving Grampa and Gramma to take care of the kids. That was a huge gift.
I had the D&C on February 12th. 2 days before Valentine’s Day. So, for Valentine’s Day in 2014 we had a super yummy, fun fondue dinner with our kids and my parents. We were planning to do it again, but I was so sad. I wasn’t ready to cook. I was still physically hurting and achy, but my wonderful man stepped in and made us a wonderful meal. I think we’ll make Valentine’s Day fondue a tradition, but I won’t forget this one… ever.
I also needed chocolate. My husband and my friend brought me candies. I have a sweet tooth and it brought me joy to be known in that way. Eventually, I started eating normally again, but it took a bit. It’s ok that it took a bit. It was part of the healing process to let my body slowly release the baby weight gain instead of doing a flash diet and panicking.
Comfort Food for my Soul
My sweet husband brought home a balloon for all of us including the baby. After dinner but before dessert, we all went outside and let go of the balloon as a celebration of our tiniest little love’s life. It was comfort food for my soul. Notice the ominous dark clouds behind the shiny heart balloon. The sun was setting on my deep, paralyzing sorrow, but it was still hanging over me. That balloon release was just what we all needed to surrender our little one to God’s care.I am a David Crowder fan. His “Remedy” album was exactly what I needed as I was trying to see the light poking through those dark clouds. You can learn more about the album here and listen to it on Spotify or other music streaming services.
A good idea is to fill your mind with songs of comfort and eventually songs of praise even when you aren’t feeling like singing them. Eventually you’ll “eat” normally again and be able to celebrate God and what He’s doing again. It’s ok that it might take a bit. It’s ok for the your music to reflect your feeling, but also for you to use it to adjust your mood. I’ve made myself (and my daughter has made me) playlists that are Happy Songs to lighten my mood and change my heart.
Eat physical and emotional comfort food, friends. Then start eating for fuel and empowerment as soon as you feel light enough to do so. Praying for you.
My Prayer for you:
My prayer for all of us is that He’ll comfort our broken hearts and turn our mourning into dancing and change our hearts into thankful praising hearts.
You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever! Psalm 30:11-12
A Prayer you Could Pray:
Dear Lord, I need your comfort food. I need it for my body, for my soul and for my nourishment. I have such a void and such sadness. Please care for me, Lord. In Jesus’ name – Amen
Things to Ponder, Pray, and Journal About:
- What is the comfort food you need right now? Why, what does it symbolize for you?
- Who is someone in your life who could do with a little comfort food (actual food, a new CD or iTunes gift card, some encouraging words in a card)?
- What do you want to talk to God about regarding Psalm 30:11-12?
2 thoughts on “Day 10 – Comfort Food”
Okay, I saw the word “food” and jumped ahead (even though I really wanted to read them in order!). This gave me chills . . . raw and real. the sweetness of God, the love of your awesome hubby and your family, the tenderness of His timing. I’m excited to see how God uses this vulnerable offering of praise in the lives of many . . . and even more excited to know that He will use it far more than I (or even you) will likely ever get to see! 🙂
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I was SO struck (when I opened the first page) by the picture of the balloon in the sky . . . to hear the story behind the picture . . . definitely chill-worthy!