A year ago today we found out our baby’s heart stopped beating at 8 weeks. We prayed for God to bring (her) back, but He chose not to. He knows best and, even when it hurts and we are sad, we must trust Him.  We must have HOPE.

If you’ve read the other devotionals, you know that my husband takes very good care of me and the 3 kiddos you can see.  Today could have been a terrible, awful, no good, very bad day, but my gallant and gentle husband made sure that was NOT the case.

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He started my day with a kiss on my forehead on his way to meet with a friend.  He left a little black box on my nightstand with these super cute earrings in it.

He later read the Scripture to me that the gift was based on.

So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us.  This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.  Jesus has already gone in there for us.   Hebrews 6:18-20a

I have hope.

I have hope because I trust God is taking care of our littlest one and that we will see (her) again in eternity. I have hope because I have seen Him work in my life and in others’ lives and I know He is trustworthy. It does me no good to live a hopeless, selfish life. There is so much more to life than just sitting around being sad and wishing things were different.

We are in a really tough season of waiting. We feel very much like we are in the wilderness. God is still providing, our marriage is strong, and the “3 You Can See” are all strong, healthy, growing in their faith. We get to be involved in a cool, healthy ministry together and be with people who love and believe in us. We are just waiting for the next step to be illuminated in front of us. As we wait, we trust God for each day and what He has for us there.

Today my faithful husband spent the day making sure I was taken care of, feeling loved and known.  He took me to our favorite coffee shop and got me a beignet.  (It reminded us of when he swept me off my feet for our 10-year anniversary and took me to New Orleans!)

We did some work together then went on a mystery lunch where we drove until we found a restaurant we’d not been to and enjoyed the drive and meal together. We rested with our big 3 then went out to dinner together. It was such a sweet time together.

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As the day went on, a few of my sweet friends checked in on me and I got some front porch surprises throughout the day. I felt so loved that they were concerned about me. After a year of mourning and processing, it’s very cool to have friends who know me well enough to know to check in on me.  I don’t feel let down by anyone who didn’t acknowledge our loss because I didn’t talk about it with very many people. I know that all I really need to get through this sadness is God, His hope, the husband and children He’s given me, but my friends are a definite bonus and gift! They gave me great insight about how to love others when they are mourning and when they are celebrating life!

Tomorrow is a new day and there is HOPE there. For now, I know I can trust that God loves me, loves you, and will comfort us so we can comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

My Prayer for you:

My prayer is that the Hope of Christ would get you through tough days and turn them into celebrations!

A Prayer you Could Pray:

Dear Jesus, I need Your hope.  I need to know you will use this pain and loss for Your glory and for something good in my life.  You are my hope.  In Your name, Amen

 Things to Ponder, Pray, and Journal about:

  • What can you do to plant seeds of hope in someone else’s sadness?
  • What areas of your life with Jesus are you still holding back from Him?  What can you do to surrender those areas to Him?

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