Some of my favorite, thoughtful gifts during our grieving season were:
- The Sneaky Sneak Meal – The first day we found out the baby’s heart wasn’t beating we got a text about a meal on the doorstep from a dear friend who just decided it’s what we needed and didn’t even ask… she just knew… amazing. Thoughtful.
- Personal Messages – A tearful voicemail from my sister-in-love saying how sad she was for us and that she was praying for us.
- Growing Life and Cheesecake – A beautiful plant (that is STILL alive) and a plate of various cheesecake pieces. Our sweet tia (auntie) hermana (sister) brought us this gift. It is super meaningful for 2 reasons (1) a growing plant doesn’t die as quickly as a cut flower… important consideration when someone has just died, and (2) it’s tradition for Tia to bring cheesecake to our home, so it was automatic comfort food. Thoughtful.
- Ice Cream – Our sweet friends dropped off some DQ Blizzards late one evening (after kid-bedtime), two different flavors so we could choose our favorite. Thoughtful.
- Baby Memento – My Lara Necklace (See “Be Like Lara” for details). Thoughtful.
- Gift Cards – We got gift cards in the mail, on our doorstep, and in person. They were mostly for restaurants, but also for a date nights and romantic getaway (and, sister, we needed to get away!). Thoughtful.
- Cards – Most of the cards had few words on them with lots of tenderness. Thoughtful.
There were quite a few other gifts we received, but the above stick out to me still. The most painful “gift” was silence. We did need the time alone as a family, but giving us silence instead of intentional, thoughtful serving was hurtful from people we actively served.
I learned so much about those I love and their comfort levels and how they would like to be served during times of sadness. I want to know people well enough to know they need (and when they need) a meal dropped on their porch or a “thinking of you” text. I hope this list helps you be intentional in building deeper friendships and relationships so that when hard times come, you’ll know what to give and when.
Thanks to my loved ones who are still loving me still through this hard time!